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another one bites the dust

Well, here I am on the eve of my day off and guess what?!?!? I am not off after all tomorrow. I had a horrible migraine yesterday and had to call in. Thus I had to play catch up all day long. I almost finished Wednesday’s stuff. Now I have to go in tomorrow to finish it and start on Thursday’s stuff. I wouldn’t have to except I know for a fact my co-worker would just push everything aside and leave it for me to do anyway.

Thats 2 times that I have had to call out in the past month and I haven’t had any help with work. I know its hard when there are only 2 people in the entire building that can do your job, but when I call someone to ask for help I expect them to, at the very least, call me back and say “sorry, no can do!” How rude people can be. Then they want me to cover for them on the weekend to go out-of-town, yet again! 2 weekends covered in one month overextends my generosity buddy! Guess what…those favors won’t be issued again anytime soon! I have earned my weekends of these past 13 years and if you don’t like it you can go back to the department you came from!

Anyway, this weekend is also a chance for me to see 18 month old niece Sarah Alexis and 2 nephews Joey and Ronnie. Joey turns 3 on Monday, but we are celebrating on Sunday. Nothing big just us, my other brother and my 2 oldest nieces, and a friend with her 2 kids…and my mom. Joey is such a sweet kid, I hope he has the greatest time this weekend.

I was finally able to get my hair did today! YAY!!! finally no more greys for at least a couple of weeks. LOL My friend Theresa does my hair. I have known her for…about 24 years…OMG thats crazy. I haven’t had contact with her all that time but when I found her again via Facebook, we picked up right where we left off! She is so great and does a mean head of hair! She finally found her soul mate and is leaving me. I just found her about a year ago and there she goes leaving me. She will be moving to Arkansas(i think) to live with her new hubby. He is going to take care of her. No more hair stylin for her! Hopefully our paths will meet again. My hair will miss her so much! Now I have to find a new stylist and that sucks. I may seem like it, but I am very picky about who does my hair.

Well wish me luck for work tomorrow.

Wish Joey a very Happy Birthday.

And Wish Theresa many blessing on her new adventure!



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Houston, we have a problem!

so, the past couple of days have been extremely stressful and heartbreaking.

I have a girl scout troop full of the most intelligent, talented, and funny 7-8 yr olds you will ever meet! They cover the spectrum and keep me on my toes. The past 2 years with them have been a blessing…but as of late, when its time for our meetings on Tuesday, I have the biggest pit in my stomach. I feel retched for feeling this way when I should be so happy and positive when I go, but the thought that there is a chance that certain parents might attend makes me absolutely sick to my stomach!

How can one person, one adult, one supposedly educated adult, one parent cause so much hate, dissension, pain, selfishness, and turmoil for one little ol’ troop? On top of that, how can a few others follow such negativity? I have never in all my days felt so disgusted with someone in all my life! I have never seen such immaturity-not even in middle school or high school!

I have tried to keep my mouth shut about it all, but I feel like my head will pop off my neck at any second with all these pent-up emotions. No matter how you ask, or say how you feel or what your ideas are, this person repeatedly talks and speaks to you as if you are the village idiot. She feels the need to speak for others who just sit there at stare blankly into space like the un-manned puppets. No emotion, nothing. Not a thought in their heads…maybe that is why she feels she must speak for them. Then she has the audacity to criticize others when they do speak up. How dare we speak our minds!?!?!? NO, madam! How dare you make this experience so horrendous for people that they no longer wish to be part of the group!

The funny thing is that this person doesn’t speak in person! She has never not once stood for anything other than selfishness and greed. As soon as she is home hiding behind the screen of her computer she has the nerve to criticize, ridicule, dictate, bully, and spread hatred.

Well, let me tell you something!

I am done! I have been so over you and all your negativity and all the hatred you spread through your words, thoughts and teachings to your daughter for a long time. I have tried to be the bigger person and take the high road, but your repeated slander of me to others forces me to speak my mind.

After the e-mail I sent this afternoon in response to 2 days of your…BULLSHIT…I will no longer respond to you. I have made the decision to ignore you via phone, text, internet, and in public. I will only speak to you or look at you if I absolutely have to and hopefully my stomach will retain its contents.

Someone recently told me, “this is just a bump in the road, and I will be a better person for it.” Well for the crap that I have been put through these past 2 years, especially the past few months, I deserve some sort of freakin medal!

I know the girls that stay behind appreciate me and will remember me more than you and the hate you tried to spread and your kid.

I am done now…even the space shuttle flew again after their hiccups!

“To infinity and beyond!!!!”

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lets get this started…or not?!?

So, lets give this a try. I really need a therapist. Seriously, I do. Sometimes I just need to get things off my chest. A really great friend of mine has a blog and suggested that I start one. So, basically I am hoping this helps! I really hope that phrase “you get what you pay for” doesn’t apply to a free blog. I know it won’t be prescribing any meds for me…but I do hope that putting my frustrations, thoughts, concerns, ideas, etc here will help me….be. That’s all I want. Just one day to just be. Be what? Well, I guess I can’t say “Anything” because I don’t want to be “just anything”. I should say Anything that makes me feel different than I do when I feel the way I do…like I need a stiff drink or a couple of ambien to just sleep or long deep slits going up and down and not across on my wrists…(the last is just a thought not a reality).

Anyway, I feel bad because I talk to the few really good friends I have about the same problems, issues, concerns, everything all the time. I don’t want to burden them anymore than I already have. Wouldn’t you get tired of hearing the same stupid stuff over and over and over again? That’s why I don’t want to talk to my friends about my issues anymore. What else can I do. Wallow in my stress and unhappiness? That is’t healthy…but then again, I have never been one to be the picture of health. LOL

Here are my realities (issues)…

  • I have a brother who disrespects me and our mom. He takes advantage of the fact that we help him with his 2 girls. Plays the victim to everyone who will listen like we are the bad guys. A simple request to please take out the trash, or clean you bathroom is met with “why do I have to do that?” “I am not the only one who lives here.” “You aren’t crippled.” UGH! He’s a leech that just sucks you dry of everything-energy, life, everything!
  • I have a mother who is so anti-social, she make me feel bad for having friends. Going out on my own. Making my own plans. Excpects me to pay the mortgage, but I can’t hang a picture on the wall w/o out asking permission! Why do I live with my mom at this age…as I say to everyone-she lives with me. She left then came back…w/o asking me!
  • I have a job that is leading me no where….and at the moment is w/o a/c too!! I haven’t had an eval in 2 years…or a raise.
  • I have 2 nieces that spend the majority of thier time with me yet treat me like the dirt on the bottom of their shoes (something they learn from their dad and mom). No matter what I do, they are never happy. No matter what I say they never listen. UGH!!
  • I have 2 seperate Girl Scout Troops (one for each niece). One is fantastic while the other is just…there are no words for the way this troop is, how it makes me feel, and how disappointed I am in some of the people involved. It really is disgracful! Nothing I try to do or have done is good enough for some of these people. Now that the year is up, apparently it is my fault that the troop is ending the way it is…Riiiiigggghhhht!

Things that make me happy…

  • I have some really great friends. People that I can’t imagine my life without. Some I have know for years, some I have recently met. What funny is that I have worked at the same place for almost 13 years and none of them are who I speak about. Hmmm….
  • I have 3 nieces and 2 nephews…I can’t live without them despite being treated like crap from 2 of them.

I think I need to work on this list some more….

Well I promise not everything will be negative. If it does turn out that way, I promise to cease all blog activity and get a real therapist! LOL

I can get used to this. I didn’t get into too much detail, but I feel a little better than I did when I started.




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